Friday, 18 July 2014

Locomente - Marry Like a Crazy

“Uf! Rabir, I am telling you, this is the best ever idea… In the middle of sea, in a nice ship…” I tried to convince Ranbir Kapoor for the hundredth time.

“Arey, tu sach mein Locomente nikhla. Why don’t you understand that people will think that he is trying to be cool as Siddharth Malya”, said a frustrated Rishi Kapoor. Neetu Singh sighed. It was loud enough for me to hear.

“How about in aircraft?” I struggled to keep the enthusiasm in my voice.

“Whats wrong with you? Don’t you see that the Malaysian aircraft was just blown?” said a fierce looking Neetu.

OKAY. When did I say we are going to fly in Malaysian Airways. Come on, these cinema people can be so dramatic at times. MANY A TIMES.

Wedding Planning has been my dream since Band Baaja Bharath days. For those who don’t know what I am talking about, it is a Bollywood movie which gave a-you-can-hate-me-but-can’t-ignore-me Ranveer Singh. The hero and the heroine (Anushka Sharma) do wedding planning and become Crorepatis. I dreamt about undertaking wedding planning because I didn’t know when Kaun Banega Crorepati would start again. I didn’t have time. And, imagine, getting ready for weddings – Anarkalis, Gagras, saris – OH-YEM-GEEE!!! - Also matching accessories and nice hairdos… which girl doesn’t want that.

Everyone, from family to friends to random strangers, believed that Wedding Planning as a profession is a crazy idea and only a person with crazy mind can think of such a career they said. And those repeated comments made me coin the name for my Sole Proprietorship:


Holding a certificate on Marketing from IIM-A, I knew how to advertise and sell. In a couple of years, I started getting big clients.

With the help of Baggout, I bought the best looking attires and tried to look at my striking best. The clothing collection in Myntra, the saris in YepMe, the jewelry from Indiatimes Shopping and  the awesome bags and shoes from Jabong always got me what I wished for. Killer smiles were given when camera winked. And, soon I became a known face in Page3.

I had to travel a lot to find the right decoration or clothing or for accessories. I killed the times in traffic jams and jammed trains by reading book. FlipKart ensured that I got an interesting book delivered in minimum time.

Tada! I planned the wedding for one of the seven sisters of Ranbir’s girlfriend (soon-to-be-wife). She fell in love with my work and promised that I would be called to plan her wedding.

I had almost forgotten the promise until one fine morning, I received a call from her announcing her wedding date and also asking me to promise that I shall keep the news a secret.

And all thanks to her. I am in this ridiculous situation now. I wanted to cry and run. But, this was my career and I can’t ruin it.

“How about a GO-Green wedding?” I asked and winked.

Suddenly I saw keen interest in their eyes.

“What’s that?” cried Ranbir’s girlfriend (soon-to-be-wife).

“In the middle of trees… with water bodies… twinkling stars… With the wild… In one of the most exotic places…” they looked confused. I paused and continued Lets make an open-air palace in an island surrounded by trees!

“You know, this marriage would also convey a message – Global warming because of the Go-Green concept. It will elevate the stars’ status. This will also bring the couple to the limelight for the right reasons” I concluded

“Perfect! If he is Being Human, I am Going Green” Ranbir said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

“But, how will you decorate the place? Accessorize the dancers who will dance for our movie songs? Wedding planning is not only about concepts” said Neetu.

I officially HATE her.

“Please don’t worry. Locomente will ensure that you marry like a crazy” I smiled reassuringly.

In the back of my mind, I told myself, “Where there is Baggout, there is a way out!”


  1. so is this fiction or real...i ask because you use your blog name....would be pretty cool to help people plan that big day...and to get creative with it....

    1. This is a fiction...
      I just used my blog name...

      Thanks Brian :)

  2. Sho..wild imaginations:D:D