Sunday, 10 August 2014


f you are one among those who have read my first blog post (Click Here), or if you are reading this, you would be knowing that I feel sad and bad that I don’t have an elder brother. Yes, I don’t yearn for a sibling or a brother; but for a big brother (anna).

The reality of not having anna will be felt more on a day like today – The Rakshbandhan Day! For those who don’t know, on this day, in India, sisters pray for the well-being of their brother (both young and older) and tie a string called Rakhi. Sadly, I don’t have a brother of my own. I agree that I have two cousins to whom I send rakhi every year; a ritual practiced over a decade now. Yet, I still wish (always will) that I had an older brother.

Whenever I say this, some people say I am just being over-dramatic and over-complaining. Some say that it is better not to have one.

So, here I am giving the reasons behind why I pine for anna!

©       To have somebody at home who is relatively of my age
It would be like having a friend at home! We can chat about almost anything and everything. There will be someone (always) to listen to my rants and cribs. I would never feel alone.

©       To spoil me
You heard me right. He would surprise me with gifts and pamper me with love. I would be cuddled. Oh! I would be his puppy and he my teddy-bear!

©       To roam around
Imagine! Because I am going out with my anna, my parents need not worry about my safety. So, together, we can explore places, watch late night movies and have lots of fun. Share a peg and fag too, you never know!

©       To have a trusted confidante for life
I will always have someone at home with whom I can share all my problems and fears. He would always be there to guide me and rescue me in case of turmoil.

©       To tie rakhi
OK, this is also one of the most important reasons.
Do you know how that Lord Ganesha’s sons Shubh and Labh were sad that their father had a sister to tie rakhi and not them? Seeing their plight, Lord Ganesha created Santhoshi Ma from divine flames and thus, the twins got a sister to tie them rakhi.
As a child, my ammaji used to narrate this story and I always used to hope that my anna would also emerge soon, if not from flames from sky at least. As a little girl, little did I know that it is humanly impossible!

©       To make Karthikai deepam more meaningful (To know more)
Karthikai Vilakku is an occasion where sisters pray for the health and prosperity of their brothers. While Rakhi is followed in North India, this is observed in the South. And, I frown on every Karthikai deepam and never really enjoy it. Come on, I don’t have a brother. Why should I?

©       To have a family for life
Anna would be the only source of “my” family for life. He would be the only person during my old age who could rekindle the child within me.

©       To be the big brother on my wedding
I am a Palakkad Iyer. In our weddings brothers have a significant role to play. But, I don’t have one L

©       To spoil my kids
Yes, that is the role of a mama (uncle). He would spoil my kids. Jokes apart, traditionally, mama’s role is very significant from their birth to marriage.

I can go on forever. To sum up, for any girl, father is the hero. And, brother will be her first friend.

And, while I love my father. I will always miss my brother.

Anna, I wish you were born!

PS: All the girls out there with bog brothers, I envy you!


  1. smiles...i have a younger brother and younger sister...i think this is a cool tradition...
    i wish we had something like that...because it is good to honor
    our siblings....

    1. Forget about the tradition Brian...
      What matters is you have siblings! :)

  2. Excellent post. When I read your last item “To Spoil My Kids”, immediately a song from Pasamalar came to my mind. Hope you have heard that song “malarndhum malaraadha”. One para goes as follows and almost everyone will cry:

    thanga kadiyaram vaira maniyara thanthu
    manam pesuvaar - porul thanthu manam pesuvar
    maaman thangai magalana mangai unakkaga
    ulagai vilai pesuvaar

    And then,

    intha mannum kadal vaanum marainthu mudinthaalum
    marakka mudiyathada
    uravai pirikka mudiyathada

    (I am not going to translate for the non-Tamil readers. It will lose its meaning. The heroine pours her heart out for her elder brother.)

    Interestingly, in our family, till my daughter was born, there were no girls born for the past 80 years. We are six brothers.

    1. Correction: In this song, both the brother and sister pour their heart out for each other. Here is the song:

    2. SG,.. You dont know how much this movie has made me cry...
      The bond between a brother and sister is beautiful...

      And this song is so meaningful...
      So glad that you shared this and happier that my post reminded you of this classic song

      PS: I understand Tamil :)

  3. A quite an emotional post. But perhaps also the reflection of the sense of insecurity ! Nevertheless its good to have a brother, a big brother to cocoon the sister. BTW why have not there been an idea of Raksha Bandan where the sister would protect the little brother? Is the idea of Raksha Bandan a fallout of patriarchal hegemony and patronisation?

    1. No... Rakshabandhan is applicable to both younger and older brother. It's just that I am just obsessed with the idea of older brother.

      Thanks Anil :)

  4. i think rakhi and any other festival is for people who live with flaws or these festivals are meant to create business or employment..i never celebrated rakhi or karthika deepam though i have two elder sisters.being a telugu guy,my culture says that one should be ideal or committed all the 365 days in a year and one do not need occasion to show your commitments or affection. i was in chennai for 3years and people were celebrating karthika deepam ,i din't understand what was all this for,a superstition.

    i did everything you have mentioned in above paragraphs as a younger brother without celebrating rakhi or kathikai. stories of gods are fiction and are not true.relationship between sister and brother is about mutual affection,my sister used to draw all the diagrams for my chemistry,biology and physics lab records coz she was good at drawing.she used to prepare different dishes and used to make natural diyas from wheat atta during diwali .she gave me all her piggy bank money when she got married.when it was my turn,i used to take her kids on my bicycle to all places as they were just few years younger than me and i used to be there for her whenever she had little problems after wedding.she and her kids like me a lot and i have equal affection for them.

    1. Rohan... I completely agree that commitment between sibling should be there all through the year. I happened to write this post on the eve of Rakshabandhan and since I dont have any siblings, such days makes me miss them most.

      What matters as you said is the relationship you share with your sister...

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)

  5. Genuine reasons to pine for an Anna.
    I have one but we never traditionally celebrate Rakhi :)
    But I hope u enjoy celeb with ur cousins :)
    thanks for visiting my blog

    1. Thanks Afshan...
      No celebration is needed when the love is pure...
      And the bondage is thick!

  6. I have a little brother and I wouldnt want a big brother ever. But after reading ur post....I am confused :P

    1. Na... Any brother is a good brother...
      So, no need to be confused! :)

      Thanks... !

  7. I have a younger brother; have yearned for an elder one whenever I have watched some of these movies. The reasons you said fit well. Now if I think of it; I think I am fine without an elder one :-D

    1. As I said, any brother is good brother..
      You will realise that when there is no brother...

      Thanks :)

  8. I always wanted an elder sister. That's because I learned so much from my cousin sister. I wouldn't want younger-anything. They are just adamant and keep wanting anything and everything :P

    Destination Infinity

    1. I agree with you... may be thats why I wanted an elder brother too!!!

      Thank you :)