Monday, 2 May 2016

Dear Parent...

es! I am a woman. I understand that a woman should have motherly instincts. I acknowledge that your child is your God. You devote all your time, energy and soul in them. Of course, you have given life to them, comforts, education and what not! I am also happy for you that you have a child. I am very proud of your child’s achievements (like waking up after sleep, feeling hungry when stomach is empty, feeling thirsty when the mouth is dry, sleeping when feeling tired/sleepy, etc.). But my dear parent, at the end of the day don’t expect me to feel the same as you do towards your child.

It is awesome that you identify the need to take your baby along to watch a movie (even if the baby is a few months old). You buy a ticket and try to console the wailing baby throughout the movie. Of course, the baby would be uncomfortable with the darkness and the noise. But, you pacify. In this process, do you realize that you are ruining the movie watching experience of several people? Expecting them to be caring and understanding is a little too much, don’t you think so? And, I fail to understand why the authorities who run theaters do not prohibit carrying children below the age of five (three at least) in the same way as they prohibit water, food, bags and what not! Yes, babies must be prohibited entry into theaters. It is for the comfort of baby and the parents; sanity of all others.

Next, if you have a baby you don’t have to call the poor child and force him/her to sing in front of the crowd. Or ask the child to identity a color or read out an alphabet or number. Don’t ask the poor child to dance; force them to recognize a particular friend or relative. Ask yourself, would you like to be forced to do such things? Sing, dance or whatever in front of people? Then why your child? Just because it is dependent on you? Or because you want to wear the child like a medal?

And the never ending my <insert child name> did this… did that… blah blah blah! Why do you want to bore your guests, friends and family with these stories? In your eyes it could be an achievement. But, every child does that. They like to watch cartoons, they don’t like to eat vegetables, loves chips and chocolates, likes to sleep on mother’s lap or climb on father’s head. They wake up in the middle of the night and cry and in the morning they play with their favorite toys. Yes, girls like teddies and boys like cars. They will fall and cry. They will jump and laugh. They will not let you sleep and ask you to be with them always. This is how children are. This is what every child does. So what??!

Needless to say, you are not getting enough rest. All the attention goes to your child; not you. Life has become child-centric. Your life has tremendously changes. You have gained a lot of weight due to pregnancy or lost a lot of weight running behind the naughty child. Your career is at stake. You can’t leave your child and at the same time, cannot compromise on your professional goals. The husband thinks that the wife is obsessed with the child. The wife thinks the husband is not really interested in taking care of the child. They don’t communicate their feelings and most of the times when they communicate it would be about the baby. In this process, they forget that they also exist. And the friends always get to hear only about these stories.

One day, as an onlooker, if you think you can’t take the parent’s obsession with their children anymore or the fact that the parents expect you to behave/feel the same way as they behave/feel towards their child, you explode! And that day, you will get to hear, “one day you would be a parent too. That day, you would also be like us!”


  1. True, but such a preciously cared child will be tortured unwillingly at the birth of another infant, treating the poor former as a grown up.

  2. Very well written post. And, I agree with Rudraprayaga.

  3. The whole " Becoming a Parent " things is scary and deadly..

    I have never myself met any parent who does not do all the things you mentioned above..None

  4. I agree with The Enchantress ... have done that and been there as well ... especially forcing my kids to grow into and thus help preserve my/ our culture in this country ... tried so hard and was very hard on my kids by doing so ... many tears ... and what do you know, they both turned into full fletched Canadians ... I tried and cried enough ... and am proud of them, Awesome blog post, friend Locomente ... Love, cat.

  5. 'Would you like to be forced to do such things?Then why your child?' A whiplash to many. But then, parents think if their children do all these things, that means they achieved something great. But there's more to it. Parenting is a blessing. It takes so much effort other than all this.

  6. That was well said.
    Serves well to these vain and petty lot , though they are quite a many as well as the parents who do all these things out of sheer ignorance.

  7. This is a beautifully written post!