Friday, 8 March 2019

Women's Day - So What?


On this women's day, I simply don't feel like wishing any woman. Looking at the double standards around, it feels lame and ridiculous at the same time.

A woman should be educated because that's the only means towards empowerment. But, if she is too educated (well, I don't know what that could actually mean), she wouldn't find a match for marriage. So she should just be enough educated to act as an added feather to her man's cap and not more than the man himself.

She should be financially independent. However, she shouldn't earn more than the man. If she does, well you guessed, she wouldn’t find any suitor. If she is already married, it could possibly lead to ego clashes, you know. She can't prioritize her career - family has to come first! (and the list should end right there).

A woman should have the upper hand in raising her children because nothing could beat a mother's love and care. Having said that, she should always be dependent (for almost anything and everything) on men because she cannot take care of herself. Oh wow!!!

There are Goddesses who are worshipped for their sheer display of anger. But mind you, a woman should, however, be the personified version of peace and remain calm; never raise her voice (read as, voice out her concerns).

People go to temples to worship these Goddesses. During "those" days due to biological reasons when a woman menstruates, she cannot go to those temples or be part of any rituals.

Speaking of rituals, people promote that a daughter is equal to ten sons and hence, female feticide should be eradicated. However, she cannot do any of the final rites for her own loved ones. Because she is a girl! What else.

She has to move out of her house after marriage. What's worse, change her surname too. As if she it's as simple and natural as getting a new ID card when you change your employer!

A man could have affairs with anyone. But a woman cannot. If she does, she would be slut shamed and shunned. I always wonder with whom these glorified and heroic men have affairs.

Thoughts aside, a man could stalk to express his love. He could go to any extent (threaten to commit suicide, murder, pour acid or just physically/verbally abuse) to win her love (not sure if it's just the body or the personality per se). But, if a woman does the same, she is considered to be a tomboy. Well, I am not quite sure if that’s the right word or if that’s the right thing to do.

Tomboy, however, reminds me of her dressing preferences. If she wears modern clothes, she is someone who could be easily carried to the bed – Certainly not someone who could be introduced to the family and considered for marriage.

A traditionally dressed woman is just tailor fit for marriage. Perfect marriage material not only includes dressing preferences, but also culinary skills. If a woman says she doesn’t know how to cook or that she doesn’t enjoy cooking, you know what comments would be thrown at her. So I am not even getting there.

And these comments – Ah! What could I possibly tell about them? People will always have comments on a woman’s life, no matter what. If she is fat or thin…  is fair or dark… has long hair or goes bald, is educated or not… career driven or not… makes money or not… gets married or not… bears children or not… and the list just goes on and on….

So my question remains - what’s the big deal about this women’s day? To remind women of these atrocious gender bias that lurks around them like a scary demon?  Or is it an auspicious day where the entire world come together and lie to her that “she is worth it”. Well, worth of what? Of these biases? Of these double standards? Of the rapes, domestic abuses, societal pressures, discrimination and unrealistic expectations?

I clearly don’t know. And I don’t think I would ever get to know (not in this lifetime). For the society to change and a woman to “feel” and “be” truly empowered, men should be empowered. They should be told that women are human beings too. But who would say that to men? Women are too fragile, dependent on men and are tangled in the mesh created by societal norms, aren’t they? And men are used to giving the infamous excuse which is, that’s how women are treated for zillions of years. So why don’t we just follow the societal norms - why really contest it. I mean, it’s none of his business right. Because he is a MAN and doesn’t carry the WO(e)s of a WOMAN.

2 comments:

  1. Good one .. love to read something on similar lines about an Indian Father's day

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